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lyrics
Well you know I thoroughly enjoy being in that big red band
And as part of them I can go to their parties oh so grand
But every time someone asks me if I would like to go
I always find myself answering the same way "Heck no"
Cause you don't cause you don't
Cause you don't need alcohol to have a good party
Cause you don't need alcohol to have a good time
Cause if your friends are there and at your side
The fun begins and the time will fly
And you don't need a drop of alcohol for that
There was a time before college where everyone I knew,
could party just as hearty without foul residue
But at school now, the norm has changed without consulting me
And alcohol is present at every single party
But why on Earth spend lots money on such fancy drinks
When we could all be just as happy drinking water from the sink
The parties of childhood were so much better
Oh why can't we party like those 12 year-olds?
With cake, candy, and piñatas
and tons of games and lots of hugs
You ought to consider the possibilities
Now some people they tell me that drunk people are funny
but in all factuality they're all a bunch of dummies
And I'd rather spend my time sharp'ning my tongue with witty humor.
Than waste my time indulging in this self induced brain tumor
And you know us introverts we like the quiet
And drunk people are the opposite of that
They're often loud and obnoxious
And sailor swearing's not a bliss
And if that's the main attraction, I'll always pass
Cause you don't need alcohol to have a good party
Cause you don't need alcohol to have a good time
Cause if your friends are there and at your side
the fun begins and the time will fly
And you don't need a drop of alcohol for that
So every night, you go out to drink
I'll stay home and let the night slip by
I'm so happy I'm not going with you
Because, quite frankly, I'd rather die
My point here is not that alcohol is bad
But it's not the life of the party for me
So if you want to see me there
have something fun for the sober
Cause you don't need alcohol to have the greatest time
You'll ever ever have in all of you life
Best time of your life.
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